Poetry Hour with Dove

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Fragment 28

And I want to feel your heart in my hands
your fingers in my mouth
your blood on my teeth
Make me your burial ground
Your final resting place and sanctuary
Hold me against your ear
Hear the echoing of yourself in the cavity of my chest
A grave for your fears, your sorrows
Mark where you left yourself
Carve into me your name
Leave traces of ruins scattered across me
I have devoted what is left of me to you

What do you mean "thats too religious"?

When you look in the mirror
Do you see a reflection of me?
The changes we've made to each other,
the ways we've grown
Like twins do we not share a similar root
Intertwining vines
clinging to each other for support
Yet I'd give up nothing that we have
I'd let the world burn to save you

Gnaw through my heart
It's the greatest meal I could give you
The sweetest dessert to a life lived in the cold
Let me lick your wounds and savor your all
I was never one to believe in a savior before you
Let me scrub the dirt of our past from us both
Remind me that I fight for your sake

You're the air I breathe
Something I cannot live without
The hollow pang of hunger haunts me when we part
I cannot say I am a man without sin
But is absolution not in the addiction of your love?
Clean crooked mind, my dear, remind me what I live for
Your lips look like a treat I'd kill for

I Don't Think Kids Can See This

i can taste your blood on my lips
the ripple of my pulse against your thin flesh
blood dripping onto my body from the holes left
by rose thorns i carry between my teeth
my gentle hand caressing the mess that is our bodies
if this is sin i don't think heaven was created with a man like me in mind
a cross could fit that divot of where your throat so pale meets your chest
i could bury myself within the side of you a perfect grave
you left me hallow
hollowed out my insides for a temple of us
and i'll fall asleep with your heart in my bones
a gift from the only god i can revere

Untitled

just say you love me
of your own accord
of your own free will
am i pulling teeth confessing at your feet
begging for some trickle of affection

my stomach twists any time you speak of yearning
ive resigned myself
yet i cant help but pray somehow
ive become the object of your desires
just hold my hand and make it feel real

i feel like a hopeless romantic
yet all i am is hopeless
reaching out for the impossible
and i can feel your mocking smile
waiting for the day i surrender

i can't help but feel guilt
for the emotions i let myself drown in
reminding myself it would be nothing but harmful
to both of us to ever
truly receive your love

Sure

i often cry thinking of touching your body
not because youre some wholly good being that shouldnt be touched by my unwashed hands
in fact i think we were made perfectly for each other, whatever the implications of such a sentence may be
its rather the fact i know im a moral failing incarnated as a vaguely human shaped piece of meat that makes it so unbearable
and youre no better
ive seen the way you smile at others when i should be your only focus yet i really dont care
i dont think ive ever felt jealousy, i mean, i did once but it was never with you (it'll never be with you, i really could never love you in such a manner)
isnt it pretentious? so funny, writing poetry about how were terrible people but come on, dear, smile over it
maybe this is my big break, a 4 in the morning piece about how unlovable we as people are
itll make money, were living the high life
im not doubting my every move
you make me want to break my fingers for ever wanting to touch your body.

Midnight Floodgates

please be gentle with my heart
we both know
we're so beaten by life
so tired

you hold onto my soul so gently
and yet it aches
because the wound is always so fresh
no matter who touches it

hold onto my tired body
trace upon my skin the runes
that will breathe life into me once more
and pull me close

i can catch my breath
with you so close to me
i fear healing may make you realize
we weren't meant to be.

I'm a whore and I hope I marry you

Lay all your sins upon me
the dirty breath of human desire
become nothing more than a God to me
fester within my heart
you will always feel unobtainable
guilt and greed
I want nothing more than to be yours
Choke me and own the little of me
there is left.

My heart aches for you
I want only you
to monopolize your time
your heart
Is jealousy an emotion I've grown fond of?

Scratching into paper —
Ink I have no use for —
The emotions I try not to acknowledge
sink your teeth into my skin
My body is your temple.
Hold me close
I fear I may fall deeper.

Surgery is another term for mutilation, I guess

cut me open
toe to tip
my intestines displayed in your hands
a trophy of the hunt
my liver bitten away
flies surround us
you cant help but find the pain orgasmic,
can you?
im tired of being nice

my rib cage was broken apart
i can see my sternum clear across the floor
this cold, cold floor
there's needles in my spleen

you cut open my stomach
you held the scalpel so delicately, my dear
i can see the insects you pull out
more a blackened liquid than butterflies
but you drink that terrible soup of bile and blood

make me scream dear
kiss my neck, make me shiver in delight
i hate you so passionately
maybe this cut will bring me back to the times
when i felt happier alive
so poison me one last time
and carve away the dead skin
i cant feel anything anymore but
i dont think ive lost that much blood

Do you recall?

do you recall being young
and we were friends
and we destroyed the world for each other
do you recall?

i recall, vaguely, perhaps i dont
you telling me of flowers
how they filled your lungs
how beautiful your breath was
and now we make your memory a garden
and those flowers
those blood soaked flowers
do you recall?

i preened these feathers
do you know what a joke i hoped it was
your last words were an apology
and i brushed it off
im older than you now and yet
do you recall?

i hoped to make this world a garden
a garden for you
and i hope you dont mind that i cast away these feathers
because i try not to recall.

Summer Love

Do you still want to hold my hand?
It's fine if so
I won't let you go, please remember that
I'm sorry I can't stop crying
But don't look at me like that you would too
You never hold onto my body anymore
You keep leaving those burning marks but
You never look at me and beg me to stay with you a bit longer
Just a bit longer in bed
Just wrap your arms around my trembling frame
I promise I won't fight against you anymore
Just lay with me a bit longer
My arms miss you
Your frail bones that I traced when I lifted up your shirt
And I miss the way your heart would rattle in your chest
Each beat leaving another ring in my ears
You remember what it felt like, don't you?
I can't remember anymore
You left static in my eyes and yet I'm sure I'm the monster
You stopped loving me, right?
Please promise I'm the one who can't move on

Remembrance

remember when we were young
and it was summer
the way we'd be up until the sun
set and we'd laugh
and the pavement would burn our
bare feet with the way the sun blistered
and you looked at me
and you smiled
and i couldn't smile back
because you were already leaving

When It Comes To You

"I love you"
The words lingered
on
her lips
and i replied with what i knew
what i was taught
"I love you too"
Kiss
Kiss
But you looked through that mindless phrase of mine
and im sorry you were brave enough to go further than I

On the topic of loving who we were

Do you remember the fireflies?
Kady do you remember that time you
said to me
You told me
It's like lady with a K
and you were kady bug
and i was your bird brained boyfriend
and you loved me
I don't think I ever loved you
The summer grows brighter every day, Kady
You'll never read this, promise me
You'll stay in that town down south
And I'll be where I always was
Somewhere, Indiana
Nowhere, America
And you'll be what I always hoped you would
And I'll be what you knew I was
And we'll be happy
Happy apart

When the sun is up again

You know I'm getting sick of you
We're sick of each other and we refuse to give up
And I beg you to let me rest where I'm standing
And you refuse again and say
"It'll get better when the sun is up again"
But you know it's not true
And you have the pistol in your shaking hands
And I'm waiting and watching
I see you take aim but you never pull the trigger
And you ask me if I think it's time
And every time I want to scream
"Yes.
It's always been time.
Please just take out this old dog.
I can't stand to see the faces of our youth anymore."
But I can't say it
I just stare you down
I already feel the heat of the metal
The smell of gunpowder could choke a man, dear
And I shake my head
Because you were right.
I'll be better when the sun is up again.

death is kinda cringe but your skeleton hand is still choking me

your eyes are pools i could drown in
and yet you never let me fall in
shut your eyes until i give up on reaching out
your bones are decorating my soul
and i can't remember the last time i told myself the truth
can i bury us both
the garden yearns for me to water it once more
the soil is uncaring
you rot under it but i survive
against my will i survive
your hands never held mine
was I always holding onto a dead man?
this path we walked in covered in ashes
burnt bridges i never thought mattered
but now i almost wish they never were built
to be young and dumb
to care too much for departed
but i can't grieve what was never there.

I have too many thoughts and I'm scared of myself except it's a poem by Fall Out Boy

hurry dear
before i remember what it means to be human
to care what others think
to care what i look like
how you look
a poison between your lips

hold my head under the water
make me beg for it again
im your dog
that collar strangles every protest
every wish i've had
but you don't care

choke me out
my body is a temple but you were
- i was -
never religious
sacrilege against my nature
your hands on my neck
im a whore for your hatred

you never listened
i never spoke
i believed you'd care but you never will
a foolish dream wrapped in the baby's breath of our innocent youth
but you spilt blood upon my bedsheets
and i don't think a child could stand to exist in the body i own

Tumbleweeds have always been pretty scary

I grew up in a desert
and it's not uncommon for the plants there
to be rather harsh
unwelcoming.
Tumbleweeds would destroy street signs
and you can't just say that
without people who have never seen them off the screen thinking you're insane.
But that's a poem in itself,
isn't it?
The disbelief of human experience
the dismissal of human life?

Untitled

im picking at the skin on my lips
the delicate flesh between my teeth
anxiety overlooked
another remedy
snake oil, a sales pitch
crystals to cure the most infectious of diseases
im lethargic and you overlook it
i cant open my eyes without a splitting pain
im stuck in the in between
i want to care
a new season of a show
there's new fashion trends
it moves to fast for me to see
did you see the hot new game
this publisher, that
a book you should read
a book you should read
im drowning in thoughts
this illness that miracle
im avoiding this world like a plague yet it seeps into my bones
the atmosphere of this life is enough to kill a man, can't you feel it?
im not a kid anymore but im not old
yet why do i feel so tired seeing what others my age are doing?

pome tiem

I love you
The words linger on my lips a bit too long
I love you
I love you
Oh how I yearn to hold you in my arms
Your head against my chest
Your soft breath tickles my skin
I love you
Oh like the bird sings of the future, of hope
I hope you love me too
We may one day start a life where
I'll be happy with you and you can smile
I love you
I love you
Oh can't I just scream it from the rooftops
To make this love of ours known to the world
Am I young enough to be foolish
Will I ever be old enough to be wise when I'm beside you
I love you
I love you
Let the words linger on your lips a bit longer, dear
Let my lips linger on yours a bit longer
The bed chills my bones when you're gone.

im tired and i dont wanna title this poem

arent you tired of seeing my face?
every day you wake im there yet you dont seem to see me
not anymore at least
perhaps you stopped caring
your anger turned to apathy quickly and yet
i miss when you cared
i miss when you were angry
when there used to be something i cared about
i dont know if we cared about each other
i was never a good guy
not to you, not to anyone
i try not to be because i know if i did id be terrible
id be hated for trying to do well
more hated than i am now
perhaps ive become a ghost to you
a reminder of the past
i cant seem to shake you
so sink your teeth deep into my skin
because it misses your touch
it misses your breath
and though i may cry just from your fingers
brushing against my face because i felt nothing but sick
from what you forced me to think
i still only need you
ive forgotten what love is, my dear
and sometimes i miss the pain you called love
because perhaps you were always right

Untitled

Why is it
The words flow out of me when I miss the people
We once were but why can't I be happy
And see the beauty that is you enough to write sonnet after sonnet
Emotions of love and joy flood me yet when I put my pen to a page I can't feel anything
Was there a beauty I can only find in my suffering?
Do I wish to suffer with you too?
I'm full of life yet only when I'm knocking on death's door do I feel I could create something
Worth having hands for
Worth the burden of my humanity
I love you, I love you
You know I love you
You love me too, yet
I can't help that the words dry up when I think of how to describe you
Would something pathetic
Something cliche be enough to sate the appetites of those who look on?
Would you still believe my words sincere?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Am I truly sorry?
Surely if I was I would have changed myself to fill the mold you so desperately need me to
Yet I'm always overflowing or not enough for that mold and I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm more coward than human.

A silly poem about my ex bf

I'm not as brave as I thought I was now that I'm older
Would you ever consider me older?
I know my bones tremble when the weather grows bad
But yours do too, and I think that makes us a lovely pair
Calling at 1 in the morning
My tired voice
Your rambling about what you created
I love to hear you ramble
Your sweet laughter, innocence untold, filling the space between my words
The love I hold for you that I keep locked away every now and then
But still it seeps through the cracks in my words and actions
I know you know I'm overflowing with emotions
And you take my hand because you can wait for me
Oh I could just melt into you

Wonderful

Every day I wake up
And I think to myself
What a wonderful life this is
What a wonderful life I live
And yet when I stare at the flowers
When I listen to the birds chirp
I feel nothing but melancholy
As it fills my chest
And I think to myself
What a wonderful life
Where I'm so full of love
Where I'm bursting at the seams with emotions for others
For everything
And yet I've never felt more alone
Where the love I have means nothing if it can't be used by others
And the melancholy drifts away
Where I think of those I love
Do you love me back, still?
Have I tired the emotions you have for me
But I'm still a fountain overflowing
Toss a penny in me, would you?
What do you wish for this time, dear?
What must life be like for you to think
What a wonderful life you live
Do you want to take the love I have?
Must I fill you with the fountain that is my love?
Must I dry out my eyes and gut myself for you to love too?
Do you live a wonderful life still?
I know I do.

Won’t You?

Am I mad?
Well I
I'm glad you asked
maybe i am.

let me dig my fingers into the viscera youve cut out of me
and feast on the rotting flesh
the meat you made raw
you took with your own hands and ravaged

Oh how I adore you, how you
Love me...
How...
How.

how could you love me
i, who is maggot infested
and green and black from the
dirt and writhing worms
that you so desperately pick at
maybe you can fill your mouth with that.

Did I ever love you?
Did I ever want to make you a Saint
to cast you up on my wall?
To keep you safe from harm?
Was I ever meant to encase you
you who is so filthy
so dirty
in a bottle
do i desire to suffocate you
or keep you as mine

Perhaps I once had a sort of
light
Did you think you could stamp it out
with the hooves you so neatly polish and trim
Did you think you could kill it
my existence that I tore at since the beginning
Oh to devote your life to the suffering of others
the suffering you feast upon
eyes hungry for more

Perhaps it was my fault
perhaps you were never deserving of any kind of love
i deserved the scars you left from my back to my hips
the bites you took of my collarbone
of my arms
you took my arms
wont you eat me up?
wont you devour the very soul you claimed
you knew was unlovable
wont you?